


Heart Attack-ack-ack

by noahproblem



Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series), Fantasy High
Genre: Boys Kissing, Fluff, Gay Panic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:55:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27390826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noahproblem/pseuds/noahproblem
Summary: Riz Gukgak, without his knowledge of course, did wonderful and awful things to Fabian’s heart-- things that would have proved tenfold how wrong Coach Daybreak truly was. How could he possibly lack heart when he could feel it beating so fast when Riz let himself go absolutely bat shit insane. At first Fabian thought it nothing more than the excitement of battle, of seeing his friend let loose and just straight up murder someone, but when they fought Kalvaxus, it all came to a very clear head.
Relationships: Riz Gukgak/Fabian Aramais Seacaster
Comments: 8
Kudos: 153





	Heart Attack-ack-ack

**Author's Note:**

> Giving me a heart attack-ack-ack  
> We jump so high, but fall right back  
> Giving me a heart attack-ack-ack  
> Don't let me lose my soul, woah

Riz Gukgak, without his knowledge of course, did wonderful and awful things to Fabian’s heart-- things that would have proved tenfold how wrong Coach Daybreak truly was. How could he possibly lack heart when he could feel it beating so fast when Riz let himself go absolutely bat shit insane. At first Fabian thought it nothing more than the excitement of battle, of seeing his friend let loose and just straight up murder someone, but when they fought Kalvaxus, it all came to a very clear head.

To be fair, a lot of things happened when they fought Kalvaxus. It was their biggest, most intense battle so far, and when Riz went down not once but twice, Fabian felt a pit in his heart. The mortality of his own father was already making it heavier than usual, but the idea that Riz, who had just earlier declared Fabian his best friend, who was so young and full of life, could just as easily parish before him? It sent a fracture through his heart that Fabian swore he could actually feel, hurting him in a way he had yet to experience, spilling blood and unacknowledged feelings all over the inside of his chest.

But that wasn’t the true turning point. No, that happened twelve hours later. 

When Kristen gasped back to life, Principal Aguefort climbing out of her backpack, and stopped time, Fabian felt he could kiss her. Well, maybe if she was a little less...Kristen. And also so blatantly gay. The point was, she saved them all. She allowed what Fabian would recognize immediately as his Gay Awakening to happen, simply by keeping Riz alive.

The battle resumed, only now the tides had turned in favor of The Bad Kids and company. Fabian landed several excellent hits and slid down Kalvaxus’ front with his father’s sword in the dragon’s chest, landing gracefully on the Hangman and tearing across the gym floor to what he did not know would be the front seat to Riz’s shining moment.

Riz leapt onto the head of Kalvaxus, stabbing his sword deep into the dragon’s skull. The light and shadows danced in the gym as Kalvaxus erupted with fire and darkness, and for a moment it showed the two of them as they truly were. Riz, illuminated brilliantly, cast a shadow larger than Kalvaxus ever could, and that was it.

Fabian clutched his chest, and knew he was absolutely Fucked.

This was too much emotion for him at once, and Fabian felt like he was having a heart attack, or maybe a panic attack. A very Gay Panic attack. The Hangman, sensing his distress, spoke in his mind.

**_Master_ ** , He rumbled.  **_You are victorious, what troubles you?_ **

“Not now, bike,” Fabian muttered, attempting to will his heart to beat slower. Riz and his mother had descended on the dead body of Kalvaxus, which was turning his stomach some but did nothing to quell the fire in his chest.

**_Very well_ ** , The Hangman paused for a moment, be it in thought or in the same morbid fascination Fabian was feeling watching Riz literally  _ eat _ their enemy.  **_You know, there’s nothing wrong with having a crush. It’s very natural._ **

Fabian squawked indignantly, whipping his head around to see if anyone else was looking his way before ducking his head down to whisper at his motorcycle. “I don’t--how did--did you just  _ probe _ my  _ thoughts _ ?!”

Ignoring him, the Hangman continued. **_The Ball has many layers._** **_At first I thought him nothing but a scrawny liability, but he’s actually kind of a badass. Did you see that shit when he shot off that nerd’s fingers? That was metal._**

Sputtering a little before signing, resigning himself to his fate of having this Talk with his fucking motorcycle, Fabian rested his head on the middle of the handlebars. “Yeah, I saw. I also just saw him kill a fucking dragon, okay? I’m...conflicted, bike.”

**_What’s to be conflicted about?_ ** The Hangman asked, genuinely not aware of the complexity of ‘human’ emotion.  **_The Ball is clearly a fearsome warrior, as are you. I am proud to have been able to have assisted you in this tremendous battle, and would be overjoyed in assisting you to court such a badass. He is worthy of you, Master._ **

“You said that about Adaine, too,” Fabian muttered, definitely not pouting. “And the question is not if The Ball is worthy of me. I--bike, I’m so  _ small _ in his shadow. And on top of that I literally  _ just _ found out that I’m apparently not straight.”

The hum of the hangman was more of a quiet revving of the engine.  **_Perhaps it is too soon, Master. Later, then._ **

Fabian groaned and threw his head back in frustration.

The school year progressed as if nothing had happened, except for the fact that The Bad Kids were now the undisputed kings and queens of the school. Even Riz and Adine, in spite of committing what would normally be seen as social suicide by joining the AV club. Fabian was certain Riz and Penny would start dating now that she was saved and he was her savior. It seemed so natural to Fabian that they would hook up, except Riz never looked at her with a hint of romantic attraction, never spoke of her as though she was the object of his desire. In fact, the longer Fabian analyzed their relationship, the more he concluded that they were more like siblings than lovers.

That still didn’t put Fabian in the clear, however. Just because Riz wasn’t attracted to Penny didn’t mean he liked men, let alone Fabian. 

Fabian would later decide his next series of moves were quite possibly the biggest Fuck Ups of his life, but he was growing desperate as time went on. He was able to work out most of his frustrations physically, through his much more rigorous training regime and his position as Captain of the Owl Bears. But mentally there was very little to distract him from the fact that he had a  _ crush _ on  _ The Ball _ . So he made up his mind to ask someone who might be able to get a better read on the situation.

Unfortunately, the only openly gay people he really knew were Ragh and Kristen. He’d have asked Tracker, but they’d never actually held any kind of conversation. Or maybe the Theater Bards, though he shuddered at the thought of having to ask them for anything. So, really, he was left with basically no choice.

Kristen was technically openly gay longer than Ragh, so he went to her first. He waited until after school one day to pull her aside. Very far aside. To the employee parking lot.

“Hey, dude, whats up?” She asked as Fabian pressed his back to the brick wall of the building, partially to ground himself for what was to come next, partially to peer around the corner discreetly. “You’ve been kinda...twitchy lately.”

Fabian whirled his head back around to Kristen, poking her in the sternum. “I’m not--this isn’t about me.”

“Hmm…” Kristen squinted at him clearly trying to get a read on him. Fabian had to act fast, or be found out anyway, and if Kristen found out on her own he would never hear the end of it.

“This is about you,” Fabian insisted, but Kristen didn’t look convinced. “I am in need of your abilities.”

“Like, to heal you or something? Are you sick?” She reached out to touch Fabian’s forehead, but he batted her hand away.

“No,” Fabian scowled. “Not your abilities as a cleric. Your abilities as a homosexual.”

Kristen laughed openly at this. “You know that being gay doesn’t give you super powers, right?”

Fabian dragged his hands over his face. “I know that, I was talking about--about your gaydar.”

Kristen lit up visibly at this. “Oooooh? You scoping out a prospect?”

“Absolutely not,” Fabian growled, already beginning to regret this. “I just...I have a healthy curiosity.”

“A healthy bi-curiosity,” Kristen nodded knowingly, and Fabian’s head connected with the brick as he tossed it back and slid down the wall. This was going nowhere. “Hey, hey, no. Fabian, I’m just razzing you.”

When he looked back at her she was sitting cross-legged in front of him, waiting not very patiently. “Well? Who is it?”

Wanting nothing more than to disappear, Fabian buried his head in his hands, fingers tracing over the intricate carvings on his eye patch. “I--listen, I want to be very clear that this is  **not** for me.” He took a deep breath to steady himself, then blurted out as fast as he could “I was wondering if you picked up anything on The Ball.”

He still wasn’t looking, but he could hear a quiet squeal of delight from Kristen. “Oh my gosh.  _ Riz _ ? You like  _ Riz _ ?”

“No!” Fabian’s voice broke in his attempt to squash the idea before it took root in Kristen’s head. He cleared his throat and tried again. “No. I told you it’s not for me.”

“Uh-huh.”

“You’re insufferable. Just tell me if The Ball is gay and then promptly forget this ever happened.”

Kristen placed her chin in her palm and hummed in thought. “I donno, I’m pretty bad at gaydar. I didn’t know Tracker was gay until she was kissing me, and even then I wasn’t sure. Though he did seem a little off-put when I kissed him that one time.”

Fabian groaned. He’d outed himself for nothing.

“But!” Kristen said enthusiastically. “I could try to find out! Be your man on the inside, put in a good word for you.”

“First of all,” Fabian glared at her. “I do not _ need _ anyone to put in a ‘good word’ for me. I’m Fabian Seacaster. I need no assistance in that regard. Secondly, I absolutely forbid you from mentioning any of this to anyone, especially The Ball.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Kristen nodded. “But I’ll try to get a better read on him, then get back to you.”

“Please don’t.”

“Too late!” Kristen stood up abruptly and shot far too many finger guns in Fabian’s direction. “Us queers gotta stick together.”

“I’m not--” Fabian started, but Kristen was already jogging away.

So, what should have been predictably, Kristen was no help.

A few weeks had passed and she had yet to gather anything useful. She just wiggled her eyebrows at him behind their friends backs. Fabian decided to poll his other gay friend.

So, after practice one day, Fabian held Ragh back when the others went to the locker room. It wasn’t too out of place, seeing as Ragh was his second in command. They ran drills together until Fabian was sure everyone else had left. The two of them showered in relative silence, and when they retired to the locker part of the locker room, Fabian cleared his throat and prepared himself for another awkward conversation. “So, uh, Ragh?”

Fabian was facing away, fiddling with his lock, but he could practically hear Ragh’s ears perk up at the mention of his name. “Yeah, Captain?”

“I--listen, there’s no real point in mincing words here,” Fabian’s own ears dipped, his face flush. “You’re gay, right?”

“I mean, I thought that was pretty obvious.”

“I know, I’m stalling.”

Ragh chuckled some, and Fabian could hear him getting dressed. “Then yeah, I’m gay. What about it?”

“I was wondering,” Fabian muttered, voice still heard in the silence of the locker room. “How, um...how good is your gaydar?”

“I mean, I clocked you, apparently.”

Fabian spun around to face Ragh, who looked entirely too pleased with himself. “I’m not,” He started, but lost his voice partway through. Coughing once, he tried again. “I’m not gay.”

“Bi, pan, queer, whatever floats your boat,” Ragh smirked at him, but it was a soft expression.

Sighing, Fabian slumped onto the wooden bench, arms on his knees and laced his fingers together. “What...what do you think of The Ball?”

Ragh smiled brightly at him. “Riz? He’s pretty cute.”

“No, not ‘what do you think of The Ball’ as in ‘do you like The Ball’, ‘what do you think of The Ball’ as in ‘do you think The Ball is gay?’”

Ragh frowned in thought. “Well, I’m not really sure. He doesn’t really ping me as straight, at least. But you should probably stop calling him ‘The Ball’ if you want a chance with him.”

“I don’t--I’m not--”

“Why not?” Ragh asked, Fabian squeezed his hands together and prayed to Yes! for patience.

“Because,” Fabian tried to explain, though his excuses sounded weak even to him. “I don’t want him to know yet.”

“Then what’s the point of finding out if he’s gay?”

Fabian blinked at the half orc. “Excuse me?”

Ragh shrugged, as if it were obvious. “If you don’t want to date him, why does it matter if he’s gay?”

Fabian blanched. He...he didn’t really have an answer for that.

“You should tell him how you feel.”

“Absolutely not.”

“I mean, what’s the worst thing he can do?” Ragh explained. “Punch you and threaten to kick you off the Owl Bears?”

“Ha,” Fabian laughed dryly. “How about shoot me in the fucking head?”

“Nah, Riz likes you. As a friend, at least. He wouldn’t hurt you intentionally.”

Fabian sighed. “Maybe...maybe you’re right.”

“Hey! Idea!” Ragh clapped him on the shoulder. “I’m having a party at my house next weekend! You should totally tell him there!”

“No. No, no, no, no, no,” Fabian could feel himself flushing to the tips of his ears.

“Well, you’re invited anyway. Riz, too.” Ragh smiled softly at him. “If you decide to tell him, that’s fine. If not, maybe you can get a better feel of his sexuality.”

Fabian just stared at his hands. This could be a good idea, but...well, he wasn’t scared, that’s for sure. But cautious.

“Hey,” Ragh hoisted his duffle bag onto his shoulder. “It’s gonna be okay.”

Fabian closed his eyes, and imagined a world where that was true. Only when he heard the door to the locker room open and close did he remember he hadn’t told Ragh to keep his mouth shut.

“Fuuuuuuuck.”

Nothing too unusual happened the days leading up to the party. If Riz knew Fabian liked him, he was doing an excellent job of hiding it, and so Fabian felt secure in the fact that Ragh hadn’t spilled the beans, as it were. And so Fabian spent his days pining hopelessly while keeping up an aloof front, that is, until the day of the party.

Ragh had been, unfortunately and very surprisingly, right. Fabian did have to confess if he wanted this to progress. Fuck, did he want this to progress, at least past the point of Fabian practically exploding at the sight of Riz in combat. If that meant getting his heart broken and moving on, so be it. That’s what being a teenager was like. No harm, no foul.

Fabian had made up his mind. He was going to tell Riz. Unfortunately Fabian was also kind of a coward, and so he hadn’t even talked to Riz since he arrived. He’d seen his teammate and party member, sure, but every time he tried to walk over and will himself to at least acknowledge Riz, he froze up and his legs turned to jelly. At one point, they’d locked eyes, and Riz smiled so fucking bright Fabian thought he might go blind in his one remaining eye. To be polite, Fabian waved back at him. Riz turned back to whoever he was talking to and then scrambled his way over to Fabian, who definitely wasn’t having heart palpitations, without even spilling his drink.

“Hey!” Riz had to practically yell to be heard over the music. Inside, someone had hooked up their crystal to the speakers. Outside, Fig and Gorgug’s band was playing even louder. “What’s up? Enjoying the party?”

“Hello, The--uh. Hello,” Fabian gave an award winning smile to distract from the fact that he had to fight not to call Riz ‘The Ball’. “Yes, well, the party is fine. I see you’ve already started drinking?”

“This?” Riz lifted his red plastic cup and chuckled. “Nah, this is just Red Bull.”

“You’re so fucking tiny. You’re going to have heart failure at twenty if you keep drinking all that caffeine.”

Riz shrugged. “Maybe. You know what they say: live fast, die young, bad girls do it well.”

Fabian groaned and dragged a hand down his face. “You’re insufferable.”

Riz laughed at that, and Fabian couldn’t help but smile. 

“Hey, could we--” Fabian started.

“I was wondering if--” Riz spoke at the same time. “Oh, sorry, you go first.”

“No, no, it’s, uh. It’s not that important.”

Riz gave him a Look. The exact same Look Riz gave to clues and puzzles. The Look of a man trying to decipher what lies under the surface. Fabian sweat some under the gaze. “Ooookaaaay,” Riz spoke, still eyeing him. “I was going to ask if you wanted to talk some place where we don’t have to yell?”

Fabian’s heart stopped. “Yeah, that works.”

Riz smiled, softer this time, at him, and led them to a door down the hall. From his pocket, he produced a key that Fabian had no idea how he procured it. Riz unlocked the door and waved Fabian in. Inside, there were stairs leading to a finished basement, and when Fabian and Riz were inside, Riz turned the lock once more, securing their privacy and sealing Fabian’s fate.

The basement floor was a clean white, and the walls had actual wall to them instead of just brick. Fabian was a little in awe that basements could look like this, seeing as he didn’t really have one. (He did have a wine cellar, but that was different.) In the middle were a loveseat with two recliners on either side facing a TV with several gaming crystals set up. Fabian just kind of stood there, frozen with definitely not fear of what he was about to do, as Riz slipped past him and trotted over to the loveseat.

“Well, Captain?” Riz patted the spot next to him on the small couch. There was only room for one more person on it. Fabian closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm his nerves, wishing he’d made his way to the kitchen for some Liquid Courage, and followed suit.

“So,” Riz pulled at his vest, suddenly looking a little nervous. “What did you want to talk about earlier?”

“Oh! I, uh,” Fabian’s brain short circuited. He wasn’t prepared to jump right to the part where Riz rejected him. Not yet. He wanted to savor having Riz so close for a little while longer. As casually as he could, Fabian placed his arm along the back of the couch. “I forgot.”

Riz frowned up at him. Fabian looked away, unable to meet his gaze. 

Turning so his knees were on the seat and he was facing Fabian, Riz spoke gently. “Hey. You don’t have to lie to me. We’re friends, right?”

Fabian gulped, still looking away. “Best friends,” he muttered, trying not to feel hurt about only being friends when he hadn’t even gathered the courage to confess yet.

A moment passed, the only sounds in the basement being the muted bass of the music upstairs.

And then something unexpected happened.

Fabian felt the small, calloused hand on his cheek turning his head to face Riz, who looked so fucking soft. Fabian took a shuttering breath, trying his best to ignore just how close their faces were. In a moment, they wouldn’t be. In a moment, Riz would leave him. Maybe forever. He leaned into the hand at his cheek and closed his eyes. “Riz, I--”

Suddenly, there was a mouth on his, clumsy and full of sharp teeth. Fabian’s eyes shot open, but before him Riz had his closed, both hands now cupping Fabian’s face as he kissed him as best he could. Fabian felt his soul leave his body.

After a few seconds, Riz pulled back a couple inches, a thin line of spit connecting the two of them. “Sorry, I, uh, should have asked first?”

“If I had known just saying your name got you so hot and bothered I would have just done that, shit.”

“Shut the fuck up and kiss me like you mean it, asshole.”

So he did. With a hand on Riz’s shoulder and one on his hip, Fabian maneuvered them so Riz was laying back on the loveseat with Fabian hovering over him, kissing him fiercely. Riz looped his arms over Fabian’s shoulders and made the cutes fucking mewls he’d ever heard. When one of Riz’s hands found purchase in Fabian’s hair he growled and bit at his lip, causing Riz to gasp.

Fabian had to pull back or risk death by cuteness overload, the both of them gasping a little for air. “I love you,” Fabian whispered, pressing his forehead to Riz’s.

“I, uh, actually knew that already.”

“I’m trying to be  _ romantic _ here! What do you mean you already knew?”

“Well, Kristen was being super fucking vague about someone liking me,” Riz started and Fabian groaned, this time out of frustration. “And then Ragh asked me earlier if you had confessed yet.”

“I hate them,” Fabian stared off in the distance. “I’m never telling them anything ever again.”

“At least Ragh gave me the key to his basement so that you didn’t have to say it in front of everyone,” Riz gave him a sly smile. “Hey.”

“What?”

“Be my boyfriend?”

“That was supposed to be  **_my_ ** line!”

**Author's Note:**

> Song the title is from is "Heart Attack" By Tune-Yards


End file.
